Book I
Chapter V


He prays for forgiveness of sins,
and the Love of God
Quis mihi dabit adquiescere in te? quis dabit mihi, ut venias in cor meum et inebries illud, ut obliviscar mala mea et unum bonum meum amplectar, te? quid mihi es? miserere, ut loquar. quid tibi sum ipse, ut amari te iubeas a me et, nisi faciam, irascaris mihi et mineris ingentes miserias? parvane ipsa est, si non amem te? ei mihi! dic mihi per miserationes tuas, domine deus meus, quid sis mihi. dic animae meae: salus tua ego sum. sic dic, ut audiam. ecce aures cordis mei ante te, domine; aperi eas et dic animae meae: salus tua ego sum. curram post vocem bane et adprehendam te. noli abscondere a me faciem tuam: moriar, ne moriar, ut eam videam. WHO shall procure for me, that I may repose in thee? Who shall procure thee to enter into my heart; and so to inebriate it, that I may forget my own evils, and embrace thee, my only good? What art thou to me? let me find grace to speak to thee. What am I to thee, that thou shouldest command me to love thee, and be angry with me, yea and threaten me with great mischiefs, unless I do love thee? Is it to be thought a small misery in itself, not to love thee? Woe is me! Answer me for thy mercy's sake, O Lord my God, what thou art unto me: Say unto my soul, I am thy Salvation.1 Speak it out,  that I may hear thee. Behold, the ears of my heart are before thee, O Lord, open them, and say unto my soul, I am thy salvation. I will run after that voice, and take hold of thee. Hide not thy face from me: let me die lest I die, that I may see it.
     Angusta est domus animae meae, quo venias ad eam: dilatetur abs te. ruinosa est: refice eam. habet quae offendant oculos tuos: fateor et scio. sed quis mundabit eam? aut cui alteri praeter te clamabo: ab occultis meis munda me, domine, et ab alienis parce servo tuo? credo, propter quod et loquor. domine, tu scis. nonne tibi prolocutus sum adversum me delicta mea, deus meus, et tu dimisisti inpietatem cordis mei? non iudicio contendo tecum, qui veritas es; et ego nolo fallere me ipsum, ne mentiatur iniquitas mea sibi. non ergo iudicio contendo tecum, quia, si iniquitates observaveris, domine, domine, quis sustinebit?    My soul's house is too strait for thee to come into: let it be enlarged by thee: 'tis ruinous, but do thou repair it. There be many things in it, I both confess and know, which may offend thine eyes; but who can cleanse it? Or to whom but thee shall I cry, "Cleanse me, O Lord, from my secret sins, and  from strange sins deliver thy servant; I believe, and  therefore do I speak."2  Thou knowest, O Lord, that I have confessed my sins against mine own self, O my God; and thou forgavest me the iniquity of my heart. I will not plead with thee, who art Truth :  and I will not deceive myself, lest my iniquity be a false witness to itself.3 I will not therefore plead with thee: for if thou, Lord, shouldest be extreme to mark what is done amiss, O Lord, O Lord, who may abide it? 

1Ps. xxxv. 5
2Ps. xix. 12; Ps. cxvi. 10
3Jer. ii. 29